How to Be a New Energy Creator

Part 1 of a 3 Part Series

I’m going to talk about my realization story a bit to start this 3 part series off. This series is called How to Be a New Energy Creator.

I’m sharing my story because this is my way in. It may not and most likely will not look the same for you but I think it’s helpful to hear each other’s stories.

These aren’t stories that are told out in the open a lot because they are very personal and not something we necessarily want to attach words to. Words are limiting by nature but they can also be doorways into so much more if we learn to follow them in that way.

The consciousness behind the words is still there in its fullness and it’s not up to me how it’s received. I can only convey it the best that I can.

So I think that sharing our personal truths and the way we navigate ourselves is important right now. It’s loud out there and I have found that the art of inner investigations is a salve, a balm like no other. It is what cuts through the noise of this world while allowing us to be fully in it.

We each find our own way into more truth, more love.

This is my story.

So here we go….

A huge part of what I remember about the theme of this lifetime is that I was always running away. My body wanted to run. It wanted to run literally and it wanted to run from the consciousness that followed me around. I felt like I lived in terror of what the mind imagined were demons.

I did many things to avoid the inevitable, its makes for some good stories that I’ll tell at some at another time.

But ultimately I realized that I had to stop running. I put down what was distracting me and I just knew it was time to face my deepest fear. I had no idea, mentally, what was going on. I just knew it was time.

I left my home in the countryside of Pennsylvania that I share with my husband and I went to our row home in Philly. I had to be alone.

I felt like I was facing demon after demon. Then I remember sitting on my bar stool in the kitchen with my face pressed against the kitchen island counter, tears streaming, when I woke up. Or better said, consciousness woke up to itself through me.

The words, “I Am God, also. I am Compassion” reverberated through my entire being and I knew it was more True then anything I had ever known. I walked into the mind of light without taking a single human step. It was like everything I knew to be true before that moment disappeared, just gone and boom there was just this indescribable bliss.

There was also a clarity of mind like I’d never known. It was like every neural network that was tied up in complicated knots just found complete and total freedom. My brain lit up. I bet you if I was attached to a brain monitor it would have been a total light show.

This is what I had been running from.

I went back and read spiritual texts and I could understand what was being pointed to for the very first time. It was intoxicating and I thought that it was my new normal.

Until it all came crashing down. I found myself back in everything i was in before this experience. That’s when i realized that I was in hell and didn't even know it. I think you can imagine what that felt like after having had the most transcendent experience of my life.

A deep deep confusion set it.

I felt like I wanted to die honestly because the alternative seemed unbearable. But/and there was something else here now too.

Something had fundamentally changed. It was as if touching Reality had allowed for consciousness to really start getting to work.

Consciousness woke up in hell and brought with it the tools to find its way out again and again. Those “tools” being Will with a capital W and Creative Intelligence. Creative Intelligence knows where to go and Will says, “We’re going.” This is all occurring in a motion without movement.

It is the end of an imagined identity ruling over life in a fixed way and the beginning of an entire turn around towards your true nature. Everything begins to turn around and go this way (inside).

It’s how we start to make everything New, which requires a consciousness that we weren’t aware of before. Because if everything were up to the fixed identity nothing would change.

So something new comes into the equation when you wake up that initiates and propels change to occur at the subatomic level.

Cells are limited and communicate in fixed ways in the body. When we open to more of our consciousness we can sense the intelligence beyond the isolated cell into the bigger picture.

We make quantum level shifts, these are occurring at the atomic and subatomic levels.

Communication between the cells changes and so whatever identity programs were running in your DNA codes creating loops in your neural networks can no longer operate unchecked as they were. We are now able to access a dimension we could not before.

The body no longer belongs to who you thought you were, your consciousness is here now so we are tasked with making that switch into a New Human and learning what that looks like.

I was shown that I already have this New Energy body as a potential and now I need to build it. And that part I had no instructions for. I had no directions. I had no idea what was going on or what to do.

I’m in the dark.

I can feel that whatever was running the show before is no longer in charge (free will). A new Will came in. I have to figure out how to work with this Will because at first it feels like it’s telling me to do things I don’t want to do. I come to realize that this isn’t it, that this is my real Will and the part that resists is the old fixed identity.

This new Will said, without words, “We are going to bring that dimension of consciousness here and so we need to make the space for it.”

I’m starting to realize that I am consciousness in an energetic form and I am consciousness without form.

And this new Will thats now here is showing me what actions need to be taken to get where we’re going. These actions are inner motions that create New Energy.

So I’m learning a new language. I have to start investigating what’s going on within.

And I realize I have to learn the difference between energy and consciousness so that I can better understand how they come together in order to make this energetic form into something New again and again.

The ego thinks it is in charge of everything and so we have to work with those parts who are attached to outcomes, who want to control life, who hold on to old wounds as their identity, the parts who live in stories.

I get a crash course in what surrender feels like as the ego goes from a noun to a verb. It goes from fixed to malleable, changeable.

I’m learning the nuances of how the New Energy body communicates and my mind begins to understand whats going on as I pay attention and observe how it all works.

So we start to learn to understand without thinking about things in the old way.

Thinking doesn’t come first, it comes later.

Understanding comes from a thoughtless place. It comes from insight, from an aha or a realization which isn’t mental.

We go beyond the mind in order to then understand with the mind. We use the tool in a new way. We are accessing more of whats between our cells because as we get the hang of investigating within we develop the ability to not blindly follow thought in the same way.

We can now stop, step back and begin observing.

You know when someone says something, a sentence or a few words and you can feel something behind it. It can make you pause for a second or want to close your eyes because you are engulfed in a sensation.

You have entered into the consciousness behind or between the words. No thoughts, just silent being.

You’ve gone beyond time and space and everything opens up.

It’s from here that we gain insights and realizations. They spring forth from a place before thought. You can then express through your own original thoughts from here. Expression can come verbally or through a stream of written words, or just silently through your body.

The point is these expressions are coming from your unique self which is undivided and whole, this is how thought changes. We see how old identity thoughts feel because we have been observing them and now we see how original thought feels. They have a very different quality.

We are getting the hang of understanding the difference between the way the surface mind works and how we can sink deeper for more Real expression.

An intimacy is developing and growing.

When we feel fear and we get that feeling to run, we don’t run. Instead we look at it and we see it for what it is. It is coming from an energetic pattern and my job isn’t to believe the pattern as truth but to be aware of it as it rises up so that I can sink below it into the consciousness behind it and low and behold I realize that its all coming from the same place.

The scary thing I ran from is who I really am. I’m not actually scared, that was just a program triggering my nervous system. There is no one there who’s scared there is just fear. Fear is just fear.

I have to stop running to experience this. And then I have to investigate my inner world to have the lasting abiding awareness in consciousness.

You are empty of a fixed identity and you are full of consciousness.

There is one source and many parts and pieces that rise up from it.

When we don't attach anything to those parts and pieces they can rise and fall, rise and fall.

We can act from wholeness regardless of the energetic pattern in the way because I know I Am That.

I am the wholeness that is always there unchanging and immortal and my awareness abides in That.

I am the creator and the creation, I am in command of the energy which is also consciousness from the totality of my being.

I am God, also. Divinity and Humanity. Consciousness and Energy. One and the same.

New Energy.

Stay tuned for Part 2 of ‘How to Be a New Energy Creator’ which will come directly into your inbox if you are newsletter subscriber.

Part 2 will cover the spiritual ego and suffering.

Thank you so much for listening and diving into your own dark matter to gain your subjective view on who you really are.

Until next time, take care.