I’ve been experimenting with different views when I’m with an old wound.

Some ways of seeing them or being with them are not effective in integrating them and others are better.

I’ve been feeling into what it means to be a consciousness. One that has a physical body and one that does not simultaneously.

When I’m visiting a wound that 5 year old me is sitting in I have tried a few ways to be there.

I’ve sat with her, I’ve tried silence and talking. 

I’ve hovered above and in front.

I saw through her eyes and felt all the sorrow and pain.

But nothing seemed to be super effective. I mean to the point where creative neutrality reverberates through the body and the sensation of completeness is all there is.

Last night I experimented with it a bit more.

I have a memory of sitting at the top of the stairs while listening to my dad in anger at around age 5.

It was still pretty vivid, the feeling of it and the environment.

So I went there as consciousness, I went there from the perspective of consciousness.

Consciousness sees through the eyes of creative neutrality which feels like an instantaneous redeeming quality of anything that is occurring at any given time.

It feels like an instant clean slate. A clearing of all the mental and emotional stuff clouding the moment.

I wasn't seeing the moment from the wound and feeling it from the wound, I was seeing and feeling from this place of instant redemption.

When I approached the 5 year old me in that state, I could feel her instantly realize that she wasn't seeing things the way they really are. She realized she wasn't seeing herself as she really is. She was able to see her truth.

She got up stunned and walked into her bedroom completely healed you could say.

And my body felt a huge sense of relief from being able to so fully rewrite this old wound.

Entering and seeing as consciousness in this way has this instantaneous effect to heal and make whole because it is seeing everything as whole already. 

This allowed for my 5 year old self to then see that truth in herself too.

It felt more like I was approaching this from below, from the place that we both have in common.

I came from the backdrop, from the common ground we both have, that we all have.

Coming from below the surface issue gave her the opportunity to see more clearly because I was seeing clearly.

This is exactly what realization felt like to me.

It felt like a being was there watching me from this perspective of creative neutrality until I was able to see the Truth for myself. That being was a part of me that already saw me as perfect, whole and complete when I wasn't seeing that for myself.

And now I’m learning to be that Truth for all parts of self as they arise within and without, as I walk the earth.