Right Relationship

I was at the airport and I overheard a father talking to his son. They were flying to wherever the son was going to go to college.

The father said, ‘Now that you’re starting college you are a man.”

The son replied, “I’m not a man yet.” And dad said,”Yes you are.”

I had never been told such a thing, I wish I had, it was a gift.

What he was really saying to his son was that whoever he thought he was prior to this very moment no longer exists. That part has died and a new person is here now, a man, and you need to go forward as this new man.

Rites of passage are seriously lacking in this day and age. Moving from child to young women happened without even so much as a conversation or an acknowledgment. I started my period at 12 and searched my older sisters closet for a pad because I learned what to do from after school specials on TV.

In the best of circumstances our human journey is well marked by initiations through time. For many who grew up in modern times they are not and we don’t have the guidance of elders. 

We don’t know what it is to let go and sacrifice a part of ourselves for something greater. 

We haven't acknowledged the grander purpose that that act seeds within us. 

Self sacrifice is built into our human story, many of us just didn’t get the memo along the way. It’s always an act that initiates us into something more not less.

As humans we give up what we were to become more productive elements in our tribe or society. 

As realized consciousness the human part gives up its entire reality as they know it. 

The sacrifice opens us up to more not less.

When you truly return to Self you no longer have a choice in the matter. An energy purification begins to prepare the body for consciousness. 

Divine Will steps in and this is extremely irritating for all the parts of you who are operating in the illusion of free will. 

It felt like I was a live wire that was being poked at left and right. That was Divine Will showing me what wasn't true and real. 

I didn’t understand for a long time because these parts are also keeping the brain muddled and the emotions are being yanked on. It’s not a gentle experience for the nervous system. There was a battle going on within my body of consciousness.

It could feel like you are going crazy.

The mind thats under the control of identities with desires and wants are going to put up a fight. They will confuse you, influence the body to do things you don't want to do and wreck havoc because they are now exposed.

This is truly what the “last hurrah” looks like. 

Awareness is a flashlight shining on these parts. 

From first hand experience of what that was like I can tell you I was not crazy. It was a necessary phase so that all the parts of myself get clear through awareness.

Our bodies are polluted. 

There are distortions from identities who have been acting out their agendas.

All is forgiven. We don’t want to get stuck in any game including feeling bad about past actions. Anywhere we stagnate creates a finite container.

It stems the flow and cuts us off from the infinite reservoir. We have to get good at moving on, moving through, letting it all go.

Identities create a ceiling, a boundary. When there is an identity in place you can only go so far. 

When I feel like I’m in a holding pattern I realize it is because there is a part that isn't letting go of something. A part that wants to feel safe or feel secure or small. Those parts immediately constrict. I’ve gotten good at noticing this because Ive trained my brain to look and inquiry rather than dismiss or judge.

When Self realized you are losing identity all together all at once to be the consciousness you are beyond any next stage in development humans go through on the linear journey.

There is a transition back to consciousness while maintaining a seemingly singular human story. The story continues uninterrupted mostly and yet everything has changed.

You open your eyes and you see the same life, same people, same world. How can that be?

And then a reconciliation begins. 

We bow to allow this because you have reestablished your connection to the mind of God and it works very differently than how we use the mind here on earth.

We bow because the human does not know how to do this. It isn’t supposed to know.

We relax into right relationship so that the parts that do know can now run things so that a new life can be experienced.

As we do this we begin to understand this new way of being.

Just as the teen turned man begins his journey into adulthood by letting the more immature version of himself go, a self realized being begins their unfolding of energetic maturity.

Image created by Keiko and AI art generator

We access more of who we are and can dig deeper into our limitless energy reservoir to go further.

Those old feelings that you don't want to be here are knocked out by the truth when you question their validity.  

You came here deliberately to be here more fully then you ever have been before.

You came here to be YOU not to continue the identity game.

The mind will lose its grip on how its always done things to learn a new way. This can feel destabilizing, it’s just temporary in order to adjust to how true intelligence works, then it’s such a relief.

The human part doesn’t have to control life, it can all flow through. There is no one there who suffers, there is no one there who clings and all the flames dance as they were always meant to.

The Biodynamic New Human

There is an alternative farming approach in the agricultural world started by Rudolph Steiner called biodynamic agriculture. It is a holistic system that acknowledges how all parts of the farm (including plants, animals, humans, and cosmic forces like the stars, sun and moon) are connected and each has its role to play to maintain a thriving ecosystem.

I continually find myself getting sweetly pulled back into reading about these kinds of systems that mimic the way nature has always acted and thrived.

“There is something in there to feel more deeply into”, is the whisper that I feel permeate my body.

It is such a great dynamic to look to when feeling into the mechanism of a Self sustaining, autonomous sovereign system.

I grew up feeling very separate from the world around me, like most of did. Even though I spent most weekends in the deep woods of Vermont, the innocence of those integrated experiences faded with time.

The experience of separation took over and I began to feel more and more like there was a definite boundary between my body and the world around me.

I manifested an inner world that I lived in most of the time to retreat to as the outside world began to feel more and more harsh. I would manifest spaces that made me feel safe like a tent on my bed, the cubby under the stairs and my obsession with making forts with couch cushions and sheets.

They provided a sense of relief that I could not find anywhere else.

I went deep into this dynamic and I now know I did this so that I could create passageways out. This still brings me to tears and feels so raw. There is nothing in my opinion more violent than separation.

It was like I dove into an extreme form of isolation into now the unfolding of the complete dissolution of boundaries. 

Scary? Yes. Uncomfortable? Oh yeah. Necessary? Mmm Hmm

Here is the thing though, I know that I manifested all of it. The whole experience was a play written by and staring me. I know this because I’ve gotten myself out of it to a point where I can see clearly.

I’m sharing this because it feels important, because the lines between my inner and outer worlds are perforated and because I feel it is what is being asked of me by a grander part of myself.

“Share your stories, they are valuable.” Another whisper from the part that knows better and so I listen and share and another boundary thins and dissolves.

The true nature of our humanity is not in isolation, it is not me and them, inside and outside. 

Our true nature is a boundary-less multi-faceted Self sustained sovereign one. The intelligence behind the scenes is unfathomable and can’t be pinned down.

And my reality reflects the new me that’s here now because I choose to take these steps out into seemingly scary experiences that the old self manifested. 

In order for the outer world experience to change we have to meet our grander parts at least 49% of the way.

We have to step forward beyond old manifestations so that true creation can unfold. When I feel a part that wants to hide I see it and I continue to step forward anyway because there is so much more than taking the same old path that keeps everything small and contained.

The more active I am in turning myself inside out the more of my Spirit gets to be here.

So I keep my eye on the bigger picture and I choose to feel into how all of this works. I feel into what the humans part is and what the grander design is so that it can all come together in tangible experience.

This keeps me on track, doing what’s needed informed by the organic reality which is where true creation can come forward and express.

You are seeing what this all looks like for me, this blog is a constant inside out experience of exposure that makes this human squirm in her skin.

And I feel it’s really just time.