Authenticity

The period after self realization and coming into more and more of your truth is very confusing.

Self realization is the clear seeing of your true nature, you know who you are at the deepest level, and then everything that you have created in this reality comes forward for review. To be seen by the only thing that can redeem the energy back into its neutral state. 

To be seen by consciousness.

It’s quite strange because who you are feels like a That or a No-thing. 

How do we translate that? How does that fit into the fact that I’m still a human being walking the earth? How do I act in an authentic way as a That?

None of this comes with a handbook, its all a messy dance of trial and error and ups and downs.

I have found this period to be intense, confusing, humiliating and stupefying … just to name a few.

Its also been extremely clarifying, opening, and cleansing. The load gets lighter and lighter and it becomes easier when you understand what’s happening and can embrace it all. 

I’m still constantly finding pieces of myself that are operating in the dark. Parts that don't feel safe being here is the most recent “big find”.

“Other people aren’t safe, the world isn't safe. “

I know and sense that there is no other, that this whole universe is within awareness which is what I am and yet there are parts that are still acting out the game of other through me.

I feel the incongruence deeply and it’s what Im looking at now. 

The willingness to look at the layers as they present themselves is what keeps me acting from a place of authenticity rather than acting from a distortion.

It’s an embodiment of an aspect of my true nature which wants to see everything as it is. 

This is a daily practice for me, some things are easier to see then others. Some things are damn right near invisible and they don't dissolve away until I become aware of it and question its truth.

The understanding of this is constantly deepening. I thought I fully got this and then I realized I did not and that there’s so much more to discover here.

I’m always learning and expanding and making mistakes and brushing myself off for another round.

And its not that Im getting tougher as I go, I’m actually getting softer. More tender, more see through.

As the hardened parts dissolve I’m more like a pasta strainer as it all flows on through.

I’d love to hear about your experience with all this. Whether you’re approaching all of this before self realization or after, what has this been like for you? What does authenticity look like to you?

Thank you!!

Theos

Once upon a time when I was a child the veils were so thin that I was able to see into a magical land.

I knew it was there and with the child’s mind I could experience it seamlessly.

As time moved on it slowly faded away beyond even memory.

The felt sense of it has never left though.

There has always been a tickle of that place which has lived on in my heart and knowingness.

I longed for it deeply but I had something important to do before I could return to this land.

I needed to dive into the reality of modern humanity.

I needed to deeply get lost in the crevices and peaks of the human condition as it is in this time.

And once fully lost I would reawaken to truth and begin the return that would change everything.

I walked a path back from the human who thinks it’s an identity to the human who knows it is God also.

I’m still walking it now and the magical land I remember so well is the destination called Theos, The Eternal One.

It’s a treacherous journey through the dark dense jungle and dry barren dessert.

Theos can be easily forgotten about and abandoned as only a dream.

But there is a star shinning so bright, so consistently and insistently that I can’t deny it even if I wanted to.

It doesnt speak but if it did I imagine it would say, ”You got this dear friend, dear me. You got this.”

And so I press on.

I discover many things on the way.

I realize Theos is the beginning and the end.

And the story goes something like this…..

I created Theos when I saw what was real. I chose to leave to experience humanity and Theos faded into a distant memory.  I wake up within the dream, again, and stay awake consistently to what is real and what is not real and as I do this I begin to circle back. In the return back I realize I never really left, that that was part of the illusion too. Everything is occurring within the Universe of Self and the star I feel shining bright is me and always has been. I realize the return to Self does not mean a dissolving into a nebulous oneness. When consciousness saw all that was created while it was asleep to truth, it merged with the creation. A new one was born.

The knowingness of MORE has always been within me.

There was nothing in classic earth reality that could satiate the inner passion for truth.

And so I circled back to Theos as I reconnected to my true passion, the innate passion of the I Am which is to open to the ever expanding more.